


Making it work

by ProdigySorcerer



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8104747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProdigySorcerer/pseuds/ProdigySorcerer
Summary: A experimental series in which I try to write some Robert/Cersei in which the couple isn't abusive/miserable for the rest of their lives together, with as small of changes to the canon that I can manage and exploring some scenarios along the way.





	1. Master the Sword: Robert I

“Your Grace, the King has to take a bride our kingdom tethers on the brink without a dynasty, without an heir ...”

Jon had started using his father-like tone as if this was supposed to be a lecture for the sake of my wisdom and health like all the other “Robert a lord doesn’t try to impress every peasant girl ... ” or “Robert a lord must know what taxes his subjects bring so pay attention ... ” thank the Seven he was talking about the Royal house and not nagging me this time.

... Why is everyone looking at me ? ...

Dammit I was the king now, it keeps slipping my mind, the wine it must be the wine’s fault.

“Yes Jon, you’re right.” and that was not me agreeing with the closest thing I have to a father, the lord of the Vale was right most of the time even if I didn’t like to admit it. Couldn’t have asked for a better Hand.

I couldn’t blame the wine tough, it’s not like it wanted to be poured into a coup then into my throat, it was just a drink but it was also the easiest bridge back to the time before, when Lyanna was going to be mine when the Stormlands would be my sole responsibility and when Ned had no duties of his own and he would have stayed with his sister and me at Storm’s End after the wedding.

Now Lyanna’s dead and without her death joining us Ned wouldn’t be talking to me at all.

Now the Seven Kingdoms call me King and expect me to clean up the huge pile of dragon dung they’ve become.

Now Ned’s run back North with his Tully wife, his duty will keep him from my side.

Call me a coward all that you like I’ll happily let the wine take me back to the past. 

“The most logical match for the Realm is that you accept the hand of Lord Lannister’s daughter Cersei.” Jon finally had to cut through Robert’s silence so that they wouldn’t be here all day.

“The Realm !?! What about me ? How can you dare to say any girl can fill Lyanna’s place ?” I want to yell but I’m too tired, the fury has been spent in the war.

“What does she look like ?” is all that I can muster to ask, if I’m going to be mated like the prize bull to a cow that cow might as well be lovely, if she has a mustache or something Tywin might find that I still remember two babes and their mother and my judgment might be mercurial.

Everyone looks at me like I am an idiot for asking, sure all you learned wise lords were a great help during the war Aerys would be cooking you right now but no please go on make fun of that oaf Robert and his hammer.

“Your Grace you’ve already met Lord Tywin and uhm she is his daughter not a ward or ... ”

“Yes Jon but I never met Tywin’s wife, the girl might take after her mother that does happen they don't always take after the father ... Kingslayer tell me about your sweet sister.” I order Jaimie who was in the room as my Kings Guard everyone hated him even Jon who convinced me to pardon him so that Tywin would be on board with our new regime.

I didn’t see the point ... Aerys had to die, if it wasn’t Jaimie it would have been another of us rebels we all had oaths binding us but Aerys threw our loyalty aside with his mad acts. 

“My mother was also a Lannister, a first cousin of Father actually so I and Cersei have inherited the most pure of Lannister features ... when we were children we could not be told apart as twins and even with her blossoming we are very alike still.”

So she was his twin, identical if not for gender my mind flew and conjured up Jaimie in a pink dress with a grand cleavage but still with the same smug look and carrying the same longsword.

I started to laugh for the first time in ... I forget how long.

They all look at me with growing worry ... oh yes my predecessor did have a reputation don’t want to bring up those memories.

“Fine Jon, tell Tywin his little girl will be my Queen.” I said ending the matter.


	2. Master the Sword: Cersei I

“I never thought it would come to this, me on my way to the Red Keep to take it over as it’s mistress and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms ... ” I felt the need to put my thoughts to words, this was the last opportunity I had to speak so freely with aunt Genna the rest of my life I would be at court, my every word and gesture studied and analyzed by servants, spies and creatures of other houses.

“Your lord father always had the ambition to see you a queen and your brother Jaimie a great knight ... well that and heir to the Rock but I guess not even Tywin can get the full breadth of his desire from the gods.” Genna replied.

“After the tourney and that mad old coot Aerys denying me Rhaegar I was ...” Cersei began trying not to hold his father’s insanity against her silvered hair prince, now more than ever as he was taken from this world so young.

“Do not bring up that name, my ... friends have informed me that Lord Robert err his grace Robert will display the full strength of his fury when Rhaegar is mentioned, it is said that even as he sleeps he will call out to the former prince to come and meet him again in battle.”

Cersei realized then, although it was obvious in hindsight that you can win a war with swords and armies but still have your soul so scarred that you end up finding the victory in truth a defeat.

Genna’s interruptions also presented an advantage to Cersei for if she had continued her train of thought she might have spilled the secret of the prophecy she had extracted from Maggy the Frog all those years ago, from then on she had wracked her brain trying to decipher it, beyond her suspicions about Tyrion she had surmised that she would only wed Rhaegar when he was king, thus much later in her life when his father had passed away and Elia would have died making him both king and already having children but not with her and ready to take a new wife.

But the “cloaks of gold” had never made sense until the war, House Targaryen’s colors were red and black but when House Baratheon rose to challenge them their black and gold made Cersei give them more chances then the others in Tywin’s war council.

Which her Father had unfortunately decided not to include her in, but she knowing she had a unique perspective had subtly voiced her views that it would be better to wait it out as the Baratheons could achieve a victory no one could expect, and Robert did rise to the challenge proving her right.

And maybe more importantly he had also proven Father right when he stated that he would find her a “better man” than Rhaegar.

Although her dragon prince would always remain in a special place in her heart.

“Cersei I know I am not your mother but I know your lessons on how a woman should act come all from your septa and they do not know the ... intricacies of having a husband and spending all your life with him as his partner, confidante, lover ...”

I felt the familiar spike of white hot anger as she remembered that my mother was not among the living anymore but the Imp was, yet I realized I still knew nothing about how to act with her husband after they would be wed.

“Please auntie anything you can tell me ... ”

“The most simple, powerful and yet overlooked trick of keeping your man content once you have already spoken the vows before the gods is simply to have a common hobby.”

“Excuse me ?”

“Or not even a hobby, something in common something you both love, or hate even, something you take the same stance on something you can work in unison towards.”

“From what I’ve heard of Robert the man lives to fight, he was born to fight that he is most at ease not in silks and with a crown but in armor and with his war-hammer in his hands, I don’t see how I can connect with such a man since Father arbitrarily decided so long ago to give Jaimie a sword and me quilting lessons ... ”

“I’ve taken the liberty to send ravens to your brother, Tywin sees the need for this marriage but he has mostly dealt with the king through Jon Arryn your brother has both spent more time with the man and has a interest in keeping you happy. Apparently our young king is also a great hunter and has already asked Jaimie if you care for the hunt, spending hours or days with him in the forest away from the court would ...”

“Eww no, never.” I hastily replied my answer obviously not what Genna had hoped.

“Cersei dear in these modern times I hear it’s more and more acceptable for young ladies to share in such pastimes though they were once thought only for men, it’s fashionable and you as Queen have the authority to set such trends legitimize them.”

“I will not go into a forest and get bugs,fur,shit or whatever may be there on my person, that’s too far.”

“You know not all hunting trips need to enter the forest some are leisurely rides through open fields.”

“I hate riding as well, I was never much good with horses to be honest.”

Genna sighed and then seemed to power on through.

“You and Robert are both the elder siblings that is something you might conn ...”

“Me and Jaimie are twins, sure I was told that I came first into this world but what does a couple of seconds matter, we’re nearly the same.”

“You both have the burden of being the eldest, to be the wisest the strongest to guide your little brothers ” I felt aunt Genna was really forcing the argument but I didn’t interrupt “you both have a uhm least favored brother ...”

“I honestly can’t imagine Robert having such a bane as the Imp in his family.”

“There is a great divide between him and his younger brother Stannis ” I remembered the name from his command of the garrison at Storm’s End “they’re too alike in age, both great commanders of men but such unlike in temperament.”

“How so ?” it was frightening how little I knew about the man I would marry, Father had all the information on the new royal house but again he would not share I had made an effort to learn beyond what I was told from the servants and the commoners but there was only so much I could learn.

“Robert is by most account personable, charismatic driven by merry and a lust for life, Stannis who I must remind you is Robert’s heir ... ”

“Until we produce a true heir.” I finished my cheeks getting slightly red talking about my womanly duties.

“Is cold and hard, he is honorable but most men can’t connect with him how they do with Robert, who I’m told during the war converted captured enemies merely by inviting them to his feasts ... Cersei this is important I know from the servants you like your wine and up until now that has not caused you any problems but you are now beholden to another standard Robert surely won’t want a bride that can drink to match him.”

“I promise auntie I will take care about the wine.” I lied to the best of my abilities.

“I do worry about you dear, you will be judged by your House name and some like Lord Stark are already holding that against you and have spoken out against the union to Robert.”

“But I’ve never met Lord Eddard ... ”

“He hates what your father did when he took King’s Landing and Jaimie for the way he slew Aerys he and others will see every action you take as a Lannister ploy to control the king.”

“But he and Robert were like brothers even before the war if he councils him against me how can I ... ”

“Men are creatures that are easily led my dear they’re hungry and thirsty for love, always until they die if you can get Robert to see you as the spring from which he can nourish himself with love you will have him for life.”

....

It had come and gone my wedding feast, it was exactly as grand as royal as I had dreamed it not even the tension between the guests could kill the sense of happiness and new beginnings, now as my royal husband and I were alone and doing our “duties” the smell of alcohol was stronger than I would like but his body was hard as steel overall not a bad ... 

“Lyanna !!! ” Robert cried out pathetically.

That was when I decided he was a dead man walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cersei not liking to ride is non-canon, I wanted to make her a sort of anti-Lyanna to highlight the contrast between them, since in the books Robert keeps getting compared to a hypothetical King! Rhaegar I wanted to draw a comparison between Lyanna and Cersei and canon Cersei can also be contrasted to Elia Martel as well, Cersei's canon playing of the game to be contrasted to Elia who didn't want to be involved at all from what I could tell.
> 
> I also tried to put in some Sansa elements to Cersei who at this stage is young and not yet jaded about King's Landing, being the Queen etc. 
> 
> Robert saying Lyanna's name is about their lowest point in this set of stories because honestly it can only go up from here.


	3. Master the Sword: Robert II

As per usual when I woke up with a woman in bed, a hasty retreat was in order, as Lord Paramount and more recently as King I always had things I could and always did end up promising to the fine ladies that I’d end up bedding ... to see the hope and happiness leave their faces when they realized I had other responsibilities killed me every time.

Now in the wake of my “successful rebellion” seeing the light go away might actually push me over the edge I was dancing on with the help of the wine and the flattery and I would gather the courage to end this hallow charade.

... No Robert focus, a King has to be strong ... for the people, strong kings don’t think of jumping from the window every single day ... or at least they don’t let it show.

As I gently rose and began to put my small clothes on, the room I was in seemed forbiddingly familiar ... Oh no did I actually bring a whore to the Red Keep this time ?

Jon’s going to kill me or worse lecture me again about the whoring.

My hesitation upon realizing where I was proved to be my undoing as the fair lady seemed to wake herself as well, when she opens her eyes so green and beautiful yet so full of contempt, it all came back.

... I am married ... this is Cersei ... my wife before the eyes of the Gods ...

“Morning dear !” I began falling back on acting with a insincere smile and cheery tone, you’d think people would react badly to fake cheer but they seemed to accept it as readily as the true emotion most of the time, too afraid to call the King out on his lies I guess. 

“Don’t even look at me !” the lioness roars I think involuntarily and without thinking it through.

The contempt in her voice is real and goes through me like a rain of arrows on the battlefield, what did I do already to make her hate me so ? 

Thinking back I abstained myself from punching her father and brothers during the feast, gods I hope our children won’t inherit that smug Lannister face, I organized things with Jon so that my previous female “acquaintances” would not be invited, abstained myself from her ladies in waiting and servants, said the right name when the vows came, didn’t drink that much.

Was every horror story my married companions shared with me destined to come true ? Will our marriage end up with both of us hating each other no matter how much we try to compromise and change ?

I take a step towards the bed, we need to settle this now.

Cersei’s eyes then shoot through the room until she seemed to notice whatever she wanted on my side of the bed, well actually on the floor near my side of the bed, for all my life I’ve been highborn and lived alone so excuse me if I left some of my gear out in the open.

With lightning fast speed she grabs my hunting knife, it’s an old thing but I keep it in good shape as it was a gift from Jon when I first became his ward.

My subjects have this odd notion that they can buy their way into my good graces by offering me swords, don’t the fools know that with my hammer I won the crown ? That old knife is the only bladed weapon I keep with me and use and make no mistake it is a sharp blade if it were an assassin in place of my sweet lady I’d have no chance to get out of this unarmed and mostly naked as I am.

“Be careful with that ... ” I want to explain the knife’s value.

“Don’t come near me you pig, you made a mistake a man can own a knife or a woman but not both.”

I can see the threat clearly and she will follow through I see the killing instinct of the best soldier in her eyes ... but it’s too ridiculous here she is my young wife completely naked holding the blade worse then a squire on his first day with the best damn pair of breasts I’ve seen in a while just mooing rhythmically while her chest heaves as she maintains her “attack position”.

If all the soldiers looked like her there would be a lot more wars and all the more reason for me to never leave the battlefield.

“Why are you laughing you oaf ?”

She better cut it out with the insults before it starts being endearing. 

“You’re holding the blade all wrong ... I could rush you right now get you in a lock and you wouldn’t even manage to make me bleed a little.” I say matter-of-factually.

This seems to throw her mentally off balance as she eventually replies:

“Well it’s your fault ... ”

“My fault ?”

“Men, you decide that Jaimie gets the sword and the armor just because he’s a boy while all I got were dancing and etiquette lessons does no one ever think that maybe I want to fight ... that maybe I’m better than Jaime or Tyrion or even Father but nobody gave me the chance !!!” I’m not sure but I think her eyes are a little wet now.

Well her problem was refreshingly direct and it involved fighting, just the way I like them.

“Ask and you shall receive my Queen ... if it’s fighting lessons you want it’s fighting lessons I shall provide ... now excuse me I’ll be back with a sword for you shortly.” I end the conversation but not on a downer ending I think as I take the opportunity to retreat and find the Red Keep’s armorer.

As I quickly put on my clothes I spy Cersei with the corner of my eye she appears to not believe what just happened but at least there’s a small smile on her lips.


	4. Master the Sword: Cersei II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei has a conversation with Jaime and she asks the hard question about him and Robert.

“You know I really had thought this little encounters had come at a end.”

“Why? Just because I’m married before the Light of the Seven now ?” I replied arching a eyebrow, daring my brother to get into the who is the bigger sinner debate.

“Well this is the rare occasion where I am both wrong and glad of the outcome.”

“We’ve got to be careful about these little trysts though ... ” I conceded.

“I know ” Jaimie said in a serious tone “you have to produce a true born heir to the throne.”

“That also ...”

“Cersei, you you can’t be suggesting not doing your queenly duties ?” Jaimie seemed shocked by my hesitation, surely at least my very own twin would abstain from judging me like a prize breeding cow.

“That’s where you’re wrong Jaimie darling a queen does not have any duties to anyone, a Lannister queen most of all. Robert should be counting his blessings Father made him King and gave him my hand.” I put him straight.

“Sister dearest, please if you’ll only listen to me once in our lives let it be now ... the capitol isn’t Casterly Rock our voices here carry weight only if the Crown is behind us and Robert isn’t ... isn’t Aerys but life for a queen that doesn’t live up to her king’s expectations is well and truly hell.” he said and upon his features I could see the shadow of his time attending to Aerys's madness.

“Hmph I have known the man for a small amount of time ... especially compared to the life together we’re supposed to share ... " Jaimie's wisdom was something I had in many ways already known I just pushed it  to the back of my mind and I had to face this ... if I wash my hands of this marriage I would punish Robert by denying him marital peace and happiness but I would also be denying my own potential for joy and settling for a lifetime of bitterness " I might give him another chance, maybe even a son.” I finally conceded.

Jaimie visibly relaxed, I did have admit he was looking out for what he honestly believed were my own best interests even if him pushing me towards Robert must be painful in ways she couldn’t even understand, the silence between us was growing though so it seemed like the proper, I could say even regal moment to depart.

“If you excuse me, my good ser I have some swordplay lesson to attend with his Grace.” I smiled as to lighten the mood and not leave him alone with thoughts that were too dark.

“Wait ... those are real ? I thought it was the usual mad ramblings of the courtiers that you are learning to fight with Robert.” he exclaimed and I could see that the disbelief was real on his face.

“And why is that ?”

“Uh ... ” Jaimie began though with hesitation, despite being trained more as a knight and swordsman the Castely Rock maester had enough iron links in his chain to pontificate eloquently about strategy and he could recognize a trap when it was before him.

“Before you begin, let me remind you that for the longest time since we entered this world we were impossible to tell apart ? A decision was made to give you a sword and me a sewing needle, this is just me reclaiming what should have been my opportunity from the start.” I said in the tone one would normally use for misbehaving children.

“It’s just strange, why would you want sword-fighting lessons from the one man in the Seven Kingdoms that is famous for fighting but not with a sword ?”

“Are you offering to tutor me ?” Jaimie didn’t say anything but I could see the fear on his face, this was about Father he would not go against his will on this. A need, later she would think it a petty need beneath her, to wound him the only way she could, drove her to continue.

“Then again maybe someone who defeated the most exquisite Targaryen we’ve seen since the original Conqueror is more fit to instruct me than one that one who slew a decrepit old man, too mad to even take up a blade in defense.” the words hurt as she said them she had chained up Rhaegar’s death at Robert’s hands deep in the dungeons of her mind, it was the only way to survive in this new court ... to ignore how her new husband had come into power.

As she saw her brother he was less of a majestic lion but a angry bull his nostrils flaming up, she had hit both his honor as a warrior and joined the number of people who had shamed him for breaking his oath in one single moment, if she were anybody but his twin, his other half she would already be dead.

“You have no idea the warriors I bested ... hunting the Smiling Knight I alone managed to ... ”

Cersei loved her brother and she would have given him his time to gloat as to sooth his ego, but her patience had already been worn thin by Robert’s endless hunting tales. And she had her sword lessons to get to shortly so she needed to put a stop to this.

“Is a penis more like a sword or a hammer ?”

“... What ???”

“I haven’t seen neither you or Robert in a fight ... like truly fight not practice but I’ve fucked you both ... and can compare you in that regard, so if you’ll tell me I’ll arrive at my own conclusion.”

“So from how we swing our cocks ? You want to divine which of us is the better warrior ?”

“Yes.” I said looking him straight in the eye, daring him to let me start the comparisons.

“I ... I’ll leave that to your teacher to explain, His Grace must be wondering why you are not at your lessons right now.”

“See you later then, brother.” I said letting a small smirk to grace my lips so that Jaimie could appreciate just how much of a verbal defeat I had handed him.

...

It would continue to be a long day for Jaimie, he had the duty of guarding the Hand as he went about ruling the realm.

And that old bastard Jon kept giving him looks when he couldn’t stop snickering as he remembered Cersei’s question.

He could only be glad that he was not a Targaryen and that he had taken a vow of celibacy upon ascending to the Kingsguard. He loved his sister but he was sure she would drive her husband whether he be Robert or himself up the walls in record time.


	5. What doesn't kill you makes you .. : Cersei I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victorian Age AU
> 
> Contains violence, foul language and sexual scenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking a small break from the "Master the Sword" series I want to do another Robert/Cersei AU in a completely other universe, completely other themes though again with the goal of not having Cersei and Robert at each other's throats.
> 
> This will have more sexual scenes and foul language but not more than GoT for example.
> 
> This is planned out and divided into 2.5 chapters including this one so it's a finite story.

As she approached what her servants had identified as Robert’s current safe house the moon was just beginning it’s rise it was still dusk and the last few decent city folk were rushing to their homes as the streets would soon fall under the reign of the rogues, as they drank, fucked and fought the night away until the sun would rise again restoring order. 

One of those rogues was just making her out of Robert’s house, her skin still glistening with sweat, her body reeking of both alcohol and cheap perfume, her dress just as much of a forgery as the affections she sold to men was stuffed with whatever was both of value and could be easily nicked.

“O ... hello, the wife I assume ?” the prostitute was trying to play it in a casual manner.

“No ... thank whatever gods there may be ... no, just a friend you could say, is he uhm awake ? I need to speak to him.”

“Look you seem like a decent ... ” she looks at my dress which is both the height of current fashion and worth more than she earns in a year “ high class lady he’s too drunk, too dirty and especially too tired but I mean emotionally too tired to see anyone.” 

“Regardless he will see me.” I said grabbing the door before the whore closes it as she leaves.

“You know I get it there’s two sides to every story but his wife Lyanna ...”

“Fiancee not wife.” I intercede.

“She really did a number on him, I think he still loves her but he kept ranting her and the man she ran away with some funny foreign sounding name ... ”

“Rhaegar Targaryen.”

“Yep yep like they’re monsters like Lyanna betrayed him and now she’s a monster but he loves her but she’s dead to him and he keeps going in circles about that.”

“Well your concern is noted, and you’ve been most helpful ... why if I wasn’t already full I’d take you out to dinner to show my gratitude ... but alas I’ve got to straighten Robert out. ”

The whore made her escape and I enter the still open door, inside it reeks even more of alcohol, I can see everything is thrown about. Rhaegar definitely didn’t fight him here from what my spies told me, so this must have been Robert taking out his furry on his own property.

Pathetic.

As I make my way up to the bedroom guided by what must be Robert’s snoring I admire the weapons mounted on the wall, crossbows and long knives even swords.

“The great hunter they call him, best of the best ... pathetic.” I can't help but saying out loud.

I enter the bedroom and find him buck naked and asleep, he almost looks like a big baby sleeping. 

If there was one regret I truly have, it's not having a child when I could with Jaimie ... I would have been an excelent mother.

“Lyanna ... ” he moans sadly in his sleep.

The slap is quick and harsh and serves very well to wake Robert up.

“What ? I didn’t remember having the money for two of you last night ... though with those tits I can’t believe I didn’t start with you, was I that much of a idiot ?”

“Oh more than you know ... Cersei Lannister by the way I would offer my hand as a proper lady meeting a proper lord but the wine won’t let you rise too much from the bed.”

“Cer...sei Lann...ister where do I know that name from ?” he tries to focus but the purple haze of the wine is too strong.

“So this is the brave hunter ” she sits down brazingly in the bed on his lap, the only thing separating his manhood from her flesh is her thin dress “the human who fought Prince Rhaegar to a standstill dozens of times ... now broken.”

“And all because Rhaegar chose the obvious tactic of tempting your fiance to betray you for the chance to live forever as a vampire.” Robert would later try to console himself that he would have noticed Cersei’s lack of breathing, her inhumanly porcelain like skin or her overpowering beyond human presence if only he had not drank so much.

“And they did beat you thoroughly ... ” I mocked leaning with my elbow into Robert’s chest, we might have looked like lovers in a post coital snuggle but I was pushing down to hurt him “... but your bitch of a fiancee got too greedy, I don’t know how she got Elia but there’s no way I’m accepting a barely turned waif as my liege.”

I lunged for Robert’s throat and started sucking immediately, he was fighting to stay awake already through our whole conversation, after the shock of my fangs piercing his skin what small amount of power he still had in him went into me, at least I could move his now unconscious body without him fighting me.

I guess it must have been the truly awe inspiring amounts of wine he had in him but he did taste much better than I expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Cersei is a vampire, this is a universe with vampires.
> 
> I had this idea of a vampire hunter being slowly converted into a vampire and the vampire who does it also becoming his lover and thought it would mesh well with the characters.
> 
> Inspiration being taken from Dracula ofc also the Vampire RPG game from White Wolf and some The Vampire Diaries.


	6. Master the Sword: Robert III

“Damn that woman, where is she ?” I said aloud, causing Barristan to crack a smile smirk, yeah you bastard just keep hiding behind your Kingsguard vow and avoid all the little annoyances of married life.

If Cersei wasn’t going to be on time for the sword-fighting lessons she asked me for than what’s the damn point ?

Especially as I’ve got Tywin on my head now writing me every other week about how I’ll stop training his little girl to be a guard or I will regret it, his words not mine, I wonder if Lord Rickard had been so inflexible about Lyanna ?

Ned had mentioned that she was a willful girl learning to fight in secret, and how Rickard tried to reign in her ‘wolf’s blood’ of course Ned only revealed this when we were fighting over my decision to not prosecute Tywin for his crimes.

Ned had said a lot of things then, all of them aimed to wound me, he had been clearly hinting that I did not know the real Lyanna and would be a bad match for her ,when he brought up Lyanna’s sword skills.

If he had been any other man I would have ended him.

Hmm, if only Ned could see me now, training my own wife to fight because she wants to ... and he thought I would not accept Lyanna !

A realization comes unbidden, am I teaching Cersei only because of Lyanna ? Am I trying to make Cersei into a replacement for my lost beloved ?

Yes ... yes that is exactly what am I doing. 

Lyanna will never be eclipsed by any woman in my heart, but I still have to live out my life alongside my proud lioness it might even be tolerable if I groom the traits she shows to have in common with Lyanna.

Get it together Robert, focus on the now if I go down this rabbit hole I’ll accidentally call Cersei ‘Lyanna’ and she’ll hate me till the end of time, focus on the present and not the past !

More distressing than Barristan’s smirk were the scrolls he was carrying, damn Jon as well to the 7 Hells for making me swear I’d read them, isn’t that what I chose him as Hand ? To deal with all this cloak and dagger diplomacy crap ? 

On the one hand I did promise Jon and this is a matter regarding my House on the other hand that pitcher of wine lying there in the shadow could tempt even Baelor the Blessed.

Given that I have to wear that cold and heavy crown, might as well let it go to my head, the King’s time is the most valuable one in all the kingdom, I’ll wait for Cersei but I’ll also get some work done.

“Barristan the papers if you will ... ” I ask as I make my way to the wine to pour myself some fuel to get though this.

“Yes, your Grace.”

“Oh, why so formal ? Come on we’re war buddies how about one of those nicknames you used on the Trident ‘rebel dog’,’whoremonger lord’ or one of the others ? ” I throw at him though with a smile to show I’m not being that serious, I’ve got to break down his walls if he is to lead the Kingsguard.

I won’t have the head of my knights serve the position, he’s got to want to fight for me, Robert the man not King Baratheon, if some dragon-spawn show their ugly heads to get revenge.

As he hands me the papers he’s distracted by someone in the distance, turning my own head I see Cersei running towards us, at least she knows she’s late, those training clothes were not made for women but they do show off her tits most admirably.

Although with Cersei I think any outfit would do that even a burlap sack, she’ll never be Lyanna but she certainly looks the part of a queen consort.

At least a good match for the kind of king I am.

“Sorry your Grace, my brother insisted we reminisce about old times and would not let me leave.”

“It’s fine ” it wasn’t but you catch more flies with honey “and no need to call me by my title it’s just us and Barristan not a full court by any measure, some wine ?”

“Oh gods, yes please.”

“But not too much, a lot of men try to substitute wine for courage before the battle and all of them have met their end by thier dulled reflexes and inflated opinion of their own strength.”

“I’ll try to remember, what’s with the scrolls ?”

“Reports from the man Jon sent into the Reach, the Tyrells need to be kept in their place.”

“War ?” she asked with what seemed like a strange battle-lust flashing across her face.

“Not yet, I mean not if we can avoid it Jon has a pretty clever plan thought up.”

“Do tell.” she said as she went to the nearby rack and retrieved her training sword.

“Are you here for sword fighting lessons or politics dear ?” I try to keep her focused at least one of us has to be for these lessoms to take any root.

“As if the end goal wasn’t the same.”

I chose to ignore that comment and it’s implications about my wife’s desire for power and dominion, no matter how large her appetite for these things could be her ascension to being queen of the 7 Kingdoms will satiate her in time.

“I want you to continue with those swings I taught you, you’ve mastered the technique but you still need to build up your stamina before moving on to something more complex.”

“Aha and shall I take it those documents are to be kept away from my eyes ?”

“Oh for the Seven, here look them over, I don’t want any secrets between us.”

“That’s a shrewd trick Lord Arryn is doing with the Florents ... ”

“Yeah by binding them through marriage with our House they act as a deterrent if the Tyrells step out of line we’ve allready got a new family to take over Highgarden, at least this way Stannis can be useful for diplomacy The Lady knows he lack natural charm on his own but as husband material `brother of the king, veteran commander, Master of Ships and Prince of Dragonstone` sounds tempting.”

Cersei suddenly started to giggle and a downright wicked smile spread upon her lovely face, I knew at what part of the letter she was.

“Oh my Ser Barristan hear this `and the prospective bride Selyse while a young lady of impeccable manners, great wisdom and a strong sense of duty for her age has the unfortunate flaw of a pencil thin mustache which Lord Florent has bribed the painter to not include but which I feel your Grace needs to know about` ... Stannis’s bride might be sporting a better mustache than the groom himself.”

From her demeanor I could work out that Cersei had never been in a situation where she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the room, apparently her and Lyanna had never met, but beyond that she took a certain pleasure in flaunting her beauty in the face of less fortunate women like this Selyse Florent.

To be honest it seemed to mirror the rush of dominance I felt on the battlefield when my opponent realized he could not match my strength, a darker side of me to be sure but my fury and her beauty were both the tools by which we clawed our way in this world.

“My lor ... Robert what has Stannis done to displease you that you wish to punish him so ?” she asked her green eyes now the eyes of a huntress were trained on me. 

“What do you mean, he’s done nothing to offend me ... lately or deliberately.”

“Then why are you saddling him him with Lady Mustache as wife ?”

“We need that alliance with the Florents you know how those Reach lords are ... ”

“The Westerlands had to fight off their desire for more lands enough times in our history, exactly the same as your native Stormlands my lord but this ...”

“Stannis is loyal, dutiful to a fault he will marry whoever I arrange for him, if he did not betray me during the siege of Storm’s End he can weather a marriage to woman who is less than beautiful.”

“You look at this as a king should, with the experience of being his older brother but can I tell you my experience as a woman as young maid that has heard a thousand tales of marriages both good and bad so that I may be prepared in ... meeting my husband’s wishes ... ”

“Hm go ahead I’m listening.”

“A woman is very important to any man, he doesn’t want to weigh different options and get anything but the best.  
A beautiful woman or a kind woman or a wise woman or a excellent lover no man wants to chose among these he wants a maiden that is all of these, settling for less on any attribute is not something you men can handle no matter how much a woman might shine in another way.”

“But the time will come when he has to make a choice when a romantic vision is no longer enough and he has to chose a real blood and bone woman and she will have areas where she will shine less ... from then one in his heart of hearts he will grow to hate life for forcing that choice upon him”

“He will twist himself and where once he was able to let go of say beauty in his wife he will end up begging for it drowning without it even tough he himself made the choice.”

“The character you’re describing my queen seem more like a boy than a man.”

“All men are still boys deep down every woman knows this ... my king.”

“Uhh fine but tell me straight what do you think I’m doing wrong with Stannis.”

“Force such a obviously flawed wife upon him and any love that he has for you will melt away every time he has to look into her face, you’ll soon have a brother that follows you grudgingly only for duty and with no love.”

“You’re right my queen.” I had to concede that I was looking at my interests more than at Stannis’s happiness, how could I deserve my brother’s loyalty with that kind of selfishness ?

I couldn’t help but think of Ned, the brother I chose, his marriage had been to cement a alliance as well but he got a buxom redhead for a wife, and now I was about throw Stannis to the wind to shore up my reign ?

“Now lest you think me just a nagging shrew who is only good at finding faults in plans I would offer another play to get the Florents on our side, we still offer Stannis but we demand a more comely wife, in these letters Jon’s man notes a certain Delena Florent, who is apparently more blessed by the Lady.”

“Yes your Grace but she is merely a cousin of the main line, to ask that the marriage be to her instead of Lord Florent’s own daughter would be most unorthodox and Lord Florent will perceive it as a insult possibly making him back out.”

“Thank you Barristan, your King no doubt already has considered that and it is his decision at the end so my husband will you bend to the demands of lesser lords or will you make your brother a happier man and a more loyal follower ?”

Damn it, this is why Lyanna would have been perfect for me she would have spoken her thoughts and be done with it Cersei is trying to use my pride to make me support her plan.

Yet even, so she does have a point to show weakness at this point will make my House seem lordly instead of royal.

“Hmm I have to treat my brother right, but thank you Barristan for your intervention I know what you fear for ... the Lady Selise to have her heart broken and her honor damaged, the poor creature will have a hard time finding a match.”

“I still have contacts with all the houses that attended my Father’s court in the west, I’m sure we can find her a nice lord or knight to marry, if that’s what troubles you my good lords.”

“Knight ? Ye gods now I feel worse for the woman to go from discussing marriage into the royal house to marriage with a simple knight ?” I couldn’t help but exclaim.

“Please think of the long term my king, she may be disappointed at first but with time her higher status will make her a more palatable partner to her husband and will win her affection despite her lack of beauty, while a marriage into House Baratheon will leave her a perpetually sub-par consort to royalty.”

“Sub-parin comparison to the sun that has deigned to come from the west and bring her light into my life.” I lay it on thick and try to give my best knightly smile.

Cersei seems to accept my overt fawning and her cheeks seem to get a barely noticeable ruby tinge. 

Gods, I had so many of these thought up to woe Lyanna once we were married, it would be a shame to let them go to waste especially since Cersei despite her strange attraction to the blade likes them so.

“Right so this is settled, the good looking Florent for my brother and I’ll trust you to arrange a amiable offer for the unfortunately hairy young woman, my queen.”

“Got to remember to tell Stannis to bring you something nice from Dragonstone next time he comes, you might have just saved him from a lifetime of ... lets say less than marital bliss.”

“Well no one can be as happy as us my dear,” I want to remind her to save it for when we meets the common folk but whatever if she likes to play the game I won’t mind “now come on show me that thrust again.”


	7. Master the Sword: Stannis I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small detour to see how the events of the previous chapter have affected Stannis.

“You sent for me, my lord ?” Davos’s voice stirs me from my brooding, I see him eye the table he’s still not used to it.

Neither am I to be honest, the map on which Aegon the Conqueror planned his campaign is now mine, the Targaryen’s stronghold is now mine.

The thought fills me with anger, the sorry state of things once this was the seat of power for a king, now it is the office of a glorified administrator, Robert’s administrator.

Davos is still at attention.

“Read it.” I point to the letter it, it was closer to him and I’d rather not look upon Robert’s insult again to explain it to him.

His face is quickly overshadowed by shame, and he stumbles for words.

“My mistake ser Davos” I say shame mixing with the cooling anger in my chest.

“No need your grace, I understand your men are normally of better stock and uh know their letters ... I recognize the King’s seal, I take it this is words form your brother ?”

“Not ‘your grace’ Davos I’m no prince and certainly no king, ‘my lord’ suffices or ‘ser’ as we’re both knights ... ” it is unfair to pick on the smuggler’s lack of courtly manners but being pedantic soothes my nerves, no wonder Cressen has kept sane all these years “ ... the letter is from my oaf of a brother indeed, it seems he is very much taken with his new Lannister queen and has ordered me to present her with a gift next time I am in the capitol.”

“And how may I serve ?”

“I despise haggling and have no talent at it. Nor do I know what are the latest fashions or what are the most valuable gems and the such, you with your experience as a smuggler surely can think up a better gift for ... my sister-in-law.”

“Aha”

“And the fact that you’re married also gives you a insight I lack in these matters.”

“My lord I have an idea: obsidian isn’t considered the most precious gem but it is symbolic of Dragonstone and I have supplied a jeweler that can work wonders ... ”

“Hn”

“Uh my liege ... I am a simple man and do not know the politics of the realm but I ...”

“Spit it out.”

“I can tell you have a grudge against Lady Lannister and would not do this if your brother wouldn’t insist.”

“Grudge ? Is that what you think this is ? ” I stopped to calm myself and draw my breadth “The same letter informed me that I am to take to wife a lady from House Florent !”

“Congratulations ! I’ve always said I wouldn’t be anything without my Maya ...”

“A Lannister is intruding House Baratheon affairs and selling me off as if I were some horse to those seven damned Lords of the Reach !!! ” Davos jumps back from my shouting, it is his fault for forgetting the fury is just as much mine as Robert’s.

“The daughter of Tywin Lannister who spent the whole rebellion on his fat arse in his castle feasting now presumes to wed me to the daughter of the men who back then would have gladly see me starve to death, but only because they were too afraid to meet me in combat !”

“A wife ... would do you good my lord.” he said in a conciliatory almost paternal tone.

“Would it !?!”

“There’s another woman ... no ? A love match ? I’m sure your brother would reconsider if you explain it to him.”

“No ” I said my voice despite my intent is now barely a whisper “there is no secret affair for me.”

He would not reveal more of his pathetic past by enumerating the ladies he had considered back before the war only to see each of them throw themselves at the young lord of Storm’s End.

“This doesn’t make political sense ... sure we’re keeping the Tyrells in check I’ll give them that but this woman she’s not even the heir to her house, she’s some second string cousin.” 

“If she’s like my Maya when she was young ... heh ... you know what they say about Reach women ?”

“What ?”

“Uhm they have huge ... tracts of land ...”

“Your wife could not have owned land as she is not highborn.”

“Uh I meant they are very pleasing to the eyes.”

“... all Florents have huge ears.”

“Really ?”

“They have been mistaken for elephants during several golden Company invasions ...” confiding in Davos does seem to have take some of the edge off from the letter “ ... go ahead with your obsidian plan, take whatever you need from my treasury.”

###

I had to admit that it had been a perfectly beautiful spring day, no man could have asked for better weather for his wedding feast I seem to recall an old wives tale about it being a good sign for the rest of the marriage. 

My new wife can’t seem to stop herself from sneaking peeks at me as she entertains the guests, I have to admit Davos was right she is quite pleasant on the eyes, even with the ears.

Of course I could be spending this time with her getting to know her better besides her Maiden granted beauty, if she weren’t stuck entertaining all the high lords in place of Robert and Cersei.

I swear that Lannister may call herself a lioness but she has the stamina of a horse given how much she’s danced, and of course Robert won’t let anybody even compete at any physical feat so he’s right at her side.

Somehow Jon Arryn also managed to get Robert a bride that can handle as much wine as him.

“Excuse me, Lord Stannis ?” a voice cuts through my thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Pardon, my name is Selise Florent ” she said with a bow and curtsy “I don’t expect you to remember me but I am your wife’s cousin.”

The daughter of Lord Florent, the heir, the one I had complained to Davos I was not marrying instead ... the poor woman does not need my scorn as well, I try to keep my eyes away from the mustache. 

“Please as a member of the Royal House surely you know the Realm and it’s nobles better than I ... and as we are in-laws I would ask of you to share your knowledge with me.”

“On what subject ?” I ask, even as I can not help but imagining spending many nights with her to conceive a heir and a cold shiver runs down my spine.

“Her Grace, the Queen has arranged for my betrothal to a man from the Westerlands ... I am honored by her intercession but I must ask ... his House seems rather more rustic ... what have I done good or ill to deserve this intervention.”

“I call tell you honestly and truly ”I said looking her in the eyes so she does not doubt my words “... my sister-in-law has a talent for these betrothals, in the end he will be a good match for you. ”


	8. Master the Sword: Cersei III

It was a bitter lesson I had to learn, for all his charm in making the lords of the realm eat out of his palm and call him king, for all his strength with which he kicked the dragons out, for all his seeming success Robert was a man hunted.

And by many demons at the same time, the most relevant one bore a Stark name and had the gall to manifest on what should have been my perfect wedding night.

Following in Lyanna’s footsteps were the many horrors of the war she had triggered by parading herself in front of Rhaegar.

To fight both her and the memories of war Robert had taken to drinking.

A coward’s escape and one that had consequences on all those around him, his charm faded, hygiene was abandoned alongside whatever wisdom he could claim, his strength became dangerous as he became more and more mercurial.

I took Jaimie’s advice to heart and did my “queenly duties” but I had quickly became more adept in how I acted around Robert.

His entourage was easily compromised with squires that were Lannister banner-men and his own Stormsland men were eager to respond to the affections of my handmaidens and ladies-in-waiting and of course a wife was not seen with suspicion if she asks of her husband’s schedule.

I had fair enough knowledge of Robert’s state so that I could plan and take the initiative, if I presented myself to him when he was sober, clean and shaved it was a infinitely more pleasurable coupling with him than than if he instead had been drunk.

And a Robert who was pleased with me coming to his bedchamber while sober, did not seek me out when he had just lost a battle with the Red Keep’s wine cellar. 

This is of course not something you hear about in the songs, it isn’t something I should do, my husband should know to restrict himself but it is something that sadly I do all the same both to keep the peace in my marriage and to keep myself sane and in good spirits.

###

Entering his bedchamber at night, I laid my eyes on something I had not thought possible in thousand thousand years.

“Oh Cersei ?”

“What are you doing ?”

“Uh all these scrolls ... yes ” he started laughing “normally I’m not the type of man to bring his work to bed but I promised Jon ...” 

“Far for me to critique Lord Arryn” even if he was obviously not one tenth the administrator my Father had been “ but shouldn’t he handle the papers and you just set the grand objectives ?”

“Uh there’ s a problem in Dorne he’ll be gone for a while but he also summoned over one of his men from the Vale, a new lord named Petyr something ... ”

“Baelysh, my dear. I know of our new supposedly genius Master of Coins ... ”

“The man has spunk I’ll tell you that ... first thing he does after taking office is shove tens ... tens Cersei ... of new proposals in my lap, I promised Jon I’d take care of him and listen to his ideas. So here I am ... either I slog thorough all these bean counter ledgers or ... ”

“You give him the key to the treasury and trust him. Not a good idea I agree.”

“He’s Jon’s man. If Jon Arryn trusts him ... I trust him.”

Robert’s response did bring to mind something I had been mulling about since I arrived in King’s Landing, it was well know that the vast, vast majority of kings had mistresses in addition to their queens, it was easier to count the exceptions to this rule actually.

But there were some men of power, the rumor went through the circles of noble ladies around the realm, who recognized that not only themselves suffered in political marriages but their spouses as well, and turned a blind eye to the company their wives kept, after they had borne an heir of course.

I knew that this was probably not the case with Arryn, but this was still a good lead into floating the idea around Robert, maybe the Seven granted her a husband with at least some pity to my situation, his reaction will give me a hint if he is willing to look the other way in our marriage.

“Does Lord Arryn trust him completely ?”

“What do you mean ?”

“I ... nothing.”

“Oh no, there’s something come out with it ... I told you Jon stays as hand I don’t care how much better Tywin supposedly is ... but if you notice something wrong with his judgment, with Baelish being on the Small Council, I need to know.”

“It just seems to me that Lord Petyr and Lady Lysa are very close.” that got his attention, the scrolls were thrown aside.

“They were raised together at Riverun, what are you implying ?” but I could tell that Robert understood me full and well.

“Lysa is so much younger than her husband, and it was clearly a political marriage ... ”

“We needed Tully swords and her damned father wouldn’t budge without both his daughters married to high lords ... Ned did his brother’s duty but Jon stepped in he knew I still had hope that Ly ... that my betrothed could be saved, he did for me for my cause.”

“He also got a young maiden as a wife dear ... ” Robert was looking at me like I was a beast to be impaled on his long hunting spear “ ... from her point of view she was suddenly sold as if she was a cow or a mare to a man old enough to be her father, I don’t approve but I can see how her loneliness has left her vulnerable to the charms of a man her age, a boy she grew up with.”

“Sold like a mare ... ” he repeated my words, his voice barely a whisper his eyes to the ground but I knew the face he’d do when he was trying to run away from something.

“How can you be sure ?”

“A woman knows these things, they’re subtle: looks thrown when supposedly no one is looking, touches that linger too long, honeyed words that appear honest at the surface ... ”

“Why in the Seven Hells am I learning of this from you, I told Varys to investigate every major lord we bring into the Red Keep to serve at the court ?”

Robert’s comment did make sense, the Spider had years to build his network of spies while I’ve had merely a few months to place some loyal men and women around the castle, I recognized Lysa’s lust for Baelysh and his gestures because with nothing to study except these sort of things as they played out at my father’s court spotting the signs had become second nature.

But Varys was said to have an almost supernatural grasp of human nature and could sniff out any secret you would try to conceal.

“I don’t know this, husband ... but is that your entire argument that Varys’s silence is more trustworthy than my observations ?”

“Ahh don’t turn it like that against me ... why are you here in my chambers to begin with ?”

“Well I have a certain thirst, and not for wine ... ”

Robert looked at me, his eyes going to my bosom as he bit his lower lip he seemed to be fighting himself.

“No I’ll have none of that this evening you throw out these horrible accusations and then expect that we just move on ...”

“Horrible ?”

“Yes Cersei, the thought of Jon Arryn the most decent, the most noble man I know being betrayed like that by his wife if it’s true ... ” his hands made a grasping gesture I think involuntarily.

“I’ll be off then husband if you’re so fickle and would deny your loving wife an embrace ...”

###

“Cersei ... why did you insist I come to your bedroom you know we can only practice where there’s space like the courtyard ...” I could hear Robert’s voice before he entered.

“It’s about last night.”

“I .. I’m sorry I went mad at that moment else how could I turn away a golden beauty like you. Let me make it up ... a necklace, a new gown, a visit to your father if you miss him ”

“Hmm I’ll remember your words. But come with me, showing you I’m right will be enough.” I said lifting a tapestry on the wall to reveal a sliver of an entrance to a tunnel.

“What in all the hells ?”

“It must be one of Maegor’s tunnels else I can’t explain it.”

“I know the stories, they supposedly run through the entire keep they might be Varys’s secret tool the rumor goes.”

“You didn’t think they existed ?”

“It always seemed mad from a tactical perspective to riddle the keep you might retreat into with secret passages, if the enemies find just one of the exits they’ll bypass all your defenses ... though me expecting rational thought from a dragon maybe that’s the foolishness. They were all evil and mad Rhaegar and Aerys were just the worst of the lot.”

“Aha ...”

Robert calmed down for a moment and seemed to hesitate.

“Sorry I’m letting my hatred take over, Stannis if here here would be fair and through and point out that our grandmother was a Targaryen and the kindest gentlest soul you could ever hope to meet.”

“Her blood made you the best candidate for the throne on the Rebel’s side.”

“I wish she could have been with us longer ... ” I swear I could see the hint of a tear forming in Robert’s eye “uh I’m going to get these sealed up after you show me whatever it is that you brought me here for.”

“Sealed up ? Aren’t you being a little bit drastic we should consider the ... ”

“I won’t have my queen easily prey to assassins.” he said in a tone that allowed no argument and from my part his intent on defending me was strangely endearing.

“I’ve been exploring them whenever I have the time and I want to show you something so come quickly.” Robert didn’t need to know I was exploring them to find ways to sneak to Jaimie unseen.

We went through narrow forgotten passages until we came to the light of day in a small nook which was facing inward towards one of the enclosed inner courts, which was occupied by only two people.

“Speak carefully lest we be spotted, do you see them ?”

“Lysa and Baelish ... they’re friends Cersei, must you see evil in what might be a innocent afternoon walk ?”

“Notice the distance between them, it is downright improper and shrinking, see Petyr looking towards the entrance periodically, see Lady Arryn how she’s unable to tear her eyes away from him ?”

As if to make my case Baelish pulled the redhead into an embrace and seemed to start whispering things in her ear, from the Tully’s side it was clear she was offering no resistance if anything she was trying to become one body with him.

Suddenly a rhythmic noise started, which I realized was Robert’s breathing far from stag-like it reminded me of a bull, his face had become flushed and I could easily see the veins pumping blood through him as his eyes, normally a very attractive blue were now bloodshot.

I had of course of the Baratheon furry but I had assumed it was legendary for it’s intensity now it became clear to me that it also came at a surprising speed, Robert might call every dragon mad but he proved to be at best dangerously mercurial.

Without a word he rushed back into the tunnel, my instincts told me he was far too gone to be talked down so there was no point in running after him.

But there was still a reason to observe the outcome, everything had went better than I could have expected Petyr and Lysa made a show of themselves and Robert couldn’t deny the truth of their affair, now I would see first hand how he dealt with betrayals of marriage vows.

A subject which deeply concerned me given the ever present chance that I and Jaime could be found out, would Robert have any mercy ? If he had no mercy to what lengths would he go to ?

I would soon learn as he had reached the courtyard, Petyr quickly made to disentangle himself from Lady Arryn but he did not know just how much Robert had already seen.

Lord Baelish was a twig of a man in comparison with Robert and he’d wisely started using that supposedly silver tongue of his, it would do him no good, the greatest luck he had was that Robert was unarmed I think that in his furry he was too single minded to have demanded a weapon on the run toward the lovers.

Thus fortunately for Baelish, though he probably didn’t think so, the blows that started to rain down were merely Robert’s fists and not blades or maces though with my husband’s strength that might kill the master of coins as well.

Lysa was weeping at first and then jumped Robert scratching and biting and swearing all to distract him from delivering blow after blow to her lover who moments into the fight had retreated into a fetal position.

Is that ? Is Petyr actually wetting himself ?

You don’t grow up Tywin Lannister’s daughter and shy away from violence but the sheer sight of the ever more bloodied face of the Vale lord was stirring up a tiny sliver of regret and guilt.

A cold shiver worked up it’s way up my spine as I considered what Robert would do if he ever caught me cheating on him with Jaime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The premise of this series is to make as small changes as possible, but within the confines of the story I will follow the ramifications I can see to whatever extent seem plausible/interesting to read. 
> 
> Obviously Petyr and Lysa being discovered is a huge upset to the canon so there's 0 % chance for the events of the books to go on as in canon, I have at least 2 more big departures planned out for the next chapter and for a chapter in the future.
> 
> I hope people liked the previous Stannis chapter because I'm going to do a similar thing after the next chapter (which will be Robert IV) and do a small chapter from Jon's perspective highlighting the fallout with Lysa,Petyr, what it means for the royal court, the Vale and the Riverlands.


	9. Master the Sword: Robert IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shake ups in the new Baratheon administration, anonymous sources imply veteran government officials on their way out have less than favorable views on the king and queen's competence.

It had been hard to stop.

At first it was righteous rage at seeing the closest thing I still had to a father betrayed.

By the time I had gotten down to the courtyard it was just simple rage.

Then Baelish started using his worm tongue trying to weasel his way out of facing justice and the black rage had descended.

At the end it was just like in the dreams, those sweet dreams of victories so long past. I wasn’t seeing Baelish’s face turning bloody, no it was that snake Rhaegar back from the dead by the grace of the gods to face another round of punishment. 

Lysa was the one who saved his life, her wailing had pierced through my fantasy ... there had been no women on the Trident that day.

Jon had taken it a lot better than I expected as I broke the news to him.

There was certainly a sense of sadness about him as I told him the great betrayal that had gone on behind his, but he did not rage, nor cry, nor ask me where Baelish was so that he might demand explanations from him personally.

He wouldn’t let me go until he reported on his mission to Dorne, it’s less than I would have hoped for but maybe better than what I deserved to receive.

An un-officialy semi-independent Dorne for the price of them not raising up for revenge in the name of Elia and her children. 

The whole thing still tore me up apart, Tywin acted in my name and presented me with the deed accomplished, Ned always the better man than me had pleaded for my first act as king to be justice for those murdered babes.

I instead listened to Jon, who was wiser than us all and rather than make war on Tywin brought him into the fold. 

The honest ones wanted justice, the wise ones wanted peace and the ones who still grieved wanted revenge.

And they all want me.

And Rhaegar of course gets off smelling fine like a bush of winter roses, the general who had kingsguard to take with him into battle, who had them to keep my Lyanna locked up in that dungeon who had them to guard his throne but not to guard his children.

Selmy’s knocking on my door, the Small Council must be convened.

###

What a sorry bunch, Pycelle is toadying up to my wife while Jaime watches on as her guardian, Stannis is sitting alone lest he accidentally make some friends at these meetings, Selmy joins him in his lonely vigil these political affairs are not to his liking one bit while the Spider lurks in the back of the room observing us all.

“Alright lords and ladies, let’s start this meeting. Lord Arryn will not join for the moment he has ... his own house to put in order.”

I can’t help but think back to Jon’s face as I told him, he was disappointed but not as a husband more like a maester who’s caught his young wards playing around instead of doing their duty and studying.

Dammit Cersei’s words about Jon’s age come back to me, damn her for being right.

“It’s an ugly business, I’m sure all of you have heard the rumors ... I won’t deny it ... Lord Baelish has been stripped of his position and more due to his foul deeds and betrayal, I would let this ignoble episode be forgotten but this crisis needs to be fought head on before it grows more out of hand. Lord Varys ! “

“Your Grace.”

“Present yourself, a snake by the name of Baelish has made his way into our fold. Isn’t it your duty as spymaster to prevent these false friends from getting close enough to put a dagger into our back ?”

“My king, I admit I did not catch wind of young lord Baelish’s intentions else yourself or Lord Arryn would have been dully informed. A thousand apologies but I cannot be everywhere at once.”

“Yes, I’m sure you had much more important matters than verifying the loyalties and character of a man who would sit on the Small Council, oh well it’s not like control of a treasury is a important thing we can just hand it to any man that walks in from the streets.” the sarcasm poured from Cersei’s words like poison from an assassin’s blade as she pounced on Varys.

Varys ever the snake seemed to let the veiled insults wash over him confident they wouldn’t stick, did he really think me so dull of mind that he could get off the hook with a simple apology and feigning ignorance ?

“My lady, the realm is still trying to heal from the ... rebellion enemies masquerade as friends all around us, it is my highest duty to protect the court from them, an affair tough a sinful matter and a grave insult to Lord Arryn simply pales in comparison.”

“An affair, Lyssa sleeping around while married to the Lord of the Vale is too small a thing for you to care ?” I was getting angry from the looks of those around me they were noticing it as well.

“What if Baelish had fathered a child with her ?”

“Lord Baelish looks nothing like Jon Arryn your grace, small weak and raven haired versus what I am told was quite handsome strong blond knight when he was in his prime, The Hand would have known immediately something was afoot.”

“What if the child favored his mother’s coloring ? What if Petyr had a blond grandfather or some such ? What if for any number of reasons the bastards isn’t found out and grows up the expected lord of the Vale and Warden of the East ?” I continue my accusations.

“Jon might be too honor blind to consider the possibility or too occupied or heavens forbid he dies before this son grows up but others will notice, you don’t become a Lord Paramount without having vultures flock around waiting for any weakness to take you and your house down. Someone will notice ... what happens Lord Spider when the lords of the Vale rise up against their overlord ? ”

“We ... ”

“War happens ” I’m practically shouting now and tellingly no one is rallying to the spider’s defense “The Vale blessed by the Seven to be unmarred by your dragon kings in the last war tears itself apart as lords sacrifice their subjects to sit on the weirwood throne of the Eyre.”

“And who ends it ? Lyssa’s spawn ? One of the lesser lords ? Do I have to come in with my knights and restore the King’s Peace ? Or my son ?”

Jaimie, Barristan and Stannis all stand a little taller, a little stiffer and their eyes dart between me and the Master of Whispers there is a certain kind of dark revelation a warrior receives once he has taken a life, war is never to be discussed lightly after that.

Cersei has something on her mind but I can’t read her, if I had to guess I’d say she’s realized having our children be royals is not all tourneys and banquets. 

“Excuse me my king but I must correct you, you said ‘my dragon kings’ that is of the past ... I re-swore my allegiance to you and you in turn promised to not hold my previous service as Master of Whispers against me.”

Stannis is grinding his teeth now, I remember how he argued just one exception if just one of the dragon’s servants were to be put the sword it must be Varys he swore.

“I did I do not forget my vows as easily as you imply ... there were words exchanged you promised the same excellence in your craft as you showed under Aerys and I promised to forget how many times the Mad King might have been out of our hair sooner if not for you.”

“But that excellence is nowhere to be seen, by the gods Cersei with her duties as Queen with training to master the sword with so many other things on her plate she saw through the lies and alerted me when you could or would not.”

“So what is it Lord Varys ? Incompetence or willful neglect ?” Stannis cut to the hear of the issue for me, as always.

“Out of Aerys’s Small Council only three remain: Lord Selmy who opposed my husband as per his vows and did so honorably, Pycelle who was the one who aided my Father in taking this city without storming the walls and you who worked for the Mad King to the bitter end.” Cersei brought up exactly what my thoughts were, Selmy was loyal to the idea of a king, Pycelle was a Lannister creature which made him part of my camp but Varys he was something else.

“I have to admit I always wondered where you ran off to in those critical first weeks after King’s Landing fell, you disappeared from the city, avoided Lord Tywin’s army and only returned a couple weeks after we sent Elia and her children’s bodies to Dorne for burial with their kin.” Pycelle finally spoke up.

“I will have you know ... ”

“Varys, the smallest sliver of a chance that you actually were incompetent and not a traitor who was happy to see whatever snake that happened to slither in poison me or my household is the only thing that’s keeping my hammer from making you a large red stain of the stones of this keep.”

Varys was silent, I bet the bastard was trying to figure out one last ploy maybe he could save his skin.

“But either malicious or simply incompetent you have proven yourself to be of no use to me as a Master of Whispers, Varys you are dismissed from your service to the Iron Throne and as you are not born of the Seven Kingdoms and all land and titles that you held where through your position I’m banishing you back to Essos never to set foot in my Kingdom on pain of death.”

“Barristan please escort this man to take his personal items and don’t leave his side until he’s on a boat leaving the harbor.”

“My King ! I did not care for the affair of Lady Arryn because I was puring all my energy into gathering evidence of a plot even more foul, a betrayal of the highest possible rank to the Throne, the Gods and you as a man.”

“Ah this is it ... now you tempt me with some secret to keep your power here, a wise king hears all but don’t except me to believe any lie or be put back into my favor.”

“The Lady Cersei knew to see the affair only because of her experience at hiding her own affair, yes my lord your new bride has been treacherous from the start ... ”

My heart stopped I couldn’t help but look over to the Lannister camp, Cersei was trying to not let her emotions show but her lower lip was quivering in a strangely endearing way that must be her tell for fear all the while her eyes were daggers searching for Varys’s neck, Jaime had that look on his face could he end Varys in one stroke was trying to guess, Pycelle’s lips were moving but he was making no sound, preparing his arguments to debunk Varys I would guess.

“And what a horrible betrayal because broke her marriage vows with none other than her own brother The Kingslayer!”

“With her brother ? Like a Targaryen ?” I heard myself say, my voice weak for the first time since I took up the crown.

“Indeed !”

“Hah ha ... ha you must really think me as dumb as a ox !!! Oh that Robert he hates the dragons so much ... so blinded by his hatred and just because Rhaegar stole his life from under him why I’m the so crafty Lord Spider he’ll believe any lies as long as I dangle a dragon to kill in front of him.” I said in a mocking sing song tone.

Everyone is looking at me like I’ve sprouted a second head.

Fine, back to rage and force.

“Why stop at that Varys ? Why not go further ? Cersei and Jaime are Targaryens !!! Everyone knows Aerys could barely keep his hands to himself and openly lusted for Tywin’s wife. Cersei’s a secret Targaryen, plant a dragon egg in her chambers and that’s that ... I kill own wife in rage ... a mad king again ... a war again ... maybe the Targaryens win somehow maybe you can use Viserys like your puppet ? ”

“I speak the truth, they’ve been more discreet and it’s been hard to get evidence but if you admit that my spies while mre unorthodox are to be trusted ... ”

“Listen you bald cock-less imitation of a man again the small chance that you’re making this up to hide your honest failure and not as a plot against my house is the only thing that’s keeping you alive.”

“Selmy, Lannister take him to get his things, watch him so that he doesn’t swipe any documents or send any orders to his men.”

“Stannis, please get a loyal crew together for this mission I want him guarded until they throw his ass on the shores of Essos, we can’t take the chance of him bribing his way free and fleeing to some hidden friend here in my kingdom.”

Stannis was sporting a smile that reminded me of a hatchet, my wife was right again we need to get him a woman of his own.

“Pycelle go with them ... uh make sure he doesn’t take any poisons or some such.”

“Your grace why ... ”

“I want to talk with my queen alone.”

Cersei gives a slight barely visible nod to the maester and he takes his leave.

###

It’s just the two of us.

The quiver of her lips is back, more visible but her eyes don’t show killing intent now that Varys was escorted out.

She comes towards me slowly, her head is tilted down a bit I think she’s sticking out her chest.

Damn, her dress hugs her forms so perfectly I can even see the shadows of those beautiful nipples. 

“Robert those lies ... ”

“Not one word from that snake I found true.” I lied.

For a split second when I heard Cersei was having an affair, fear gripped me we came together due to politics, an alliance sealed on the wedding bed.

That does not foster love, not like my bethroval to Lyanna the years I knew we were to be wed the trips we made to see each other in preparation, those letters I sent from the Eyre.

It was different with Cersei I admit I really was worried.

But that filth Varys’s diseased mind came up with, a woman and her twin brother ?

Only the dragons are so unafraid of the gods and so eager for perversion and that was the key, the lie was too perfect it was something out of a play, evidence of Varys’s past of course.

“Why did you want to talk with me ?”

“Baelish gone and now Varys, two more empty positions on an already empty council ... Lord Arryn will keep the position of Master of Coin somewhere in the Vale must be a man both shrew with money and true to his lord and king but the Master of Whispers ... ”

“I see, I confess I could name a few candidates if that is what my king wishes ...”

“I know who it will be already, a Lannister you can rest easy ”

“Father ? He is capable in all matters but he was Hand offering anything less is a dread insult dear.”

“No, not him but you’re close.”

“Hmm I admit my uncle Kevan is decent at most things as well but a bit too honorable for the position, Jaime is a superb knight and even general but he is not one for cloak and daggers or do you mean one of my cousins or the Lannisters from our branch at Lannisport ?”

Gods doesn’t she get it ? And why are there so many bloody Lannisters ?

“I want you to be my Mistress of Whispers.” I came out and said it.

She looks at me again as if I’d just said the Others are coming.

“Really husband, you jape now and about matters of state ?”

“I’m serious.” I deadpan in a way Stannis would be proud of.

“You ... ”

“Deadly serious.”

“You were making fun of Varys ‘oh Lyssa was so obvious even Cersei the girl that was only even trained to sow caught on’ ... ”

“If it was not for you that disease in House Arryn would still fester, I don’t see why you can’t take a compliment to your skills at seeing though deception as a compliment and not slander towards a man. This is not without precedent you know Tyanna of the Tower was both Mistress of Whispers and uh sort of queen ...”

“To Maegor the Cruel, is that the king who’s precedent you really want to evoke ? Now that your reign is still new ?”

“What I would like, dear ... is less nagging more helping.” I suppressed the urge to add “or please shut up”

“I have duties as queen. Did you think about that ? I don’t spend my day taking cat naps ... there’ s a whole feminine side to your court to politics and you’re blind to it, yes like to Lyssa ... and I have to handle it alone me and my handmaidens no council to help me out !”

“I’ll open the treasury for you get you some official helpers, shake things up Cersei this is a new dawn for all of us you are not beholden to the customs layed out by all those brother-fucking queens of old, share that burden reduce it but I need you as my spy mistress ... I won’t have anyone else.”

“This won’t cut into our training time ?”

“I swear upon my honor ... wait no better upon my hammer !” my honor was kind of shit really, having slept with all those women even if it was before making the wedding vows in front of the septon and raising in rebellion against the king even if he was evil and insane.

“It’s a deal then.” she moved to a table nearby and grabbed a pitcher and two cups “to the future then, to my new position and to breaking old traditions!”


	10. Master the Sword: Jon I

Royce, was Royce a good man for the position ?

Or should the new Master of Coin even come from the Vale ?

Robert did say that Baelish’s actions in his eye did not reflect in any way on my own honor or wisdom and argued for me to give the position to one of my own men again.

A Master of Coin was always a chore for whichever King or Hand needed to appoint one, you needed someone truly loyal to be given the treasury but you also needed someone with true skill for gold lost in foolishness was just as gone as gold lost to treachery.

Do you promote one of your lords, the men who have sworn before you, who followed you into battle ?

Do you promote one of the merchants, the ones that without the right eye for gain they would have died of hunger ?

I was being too rigid I realized, if I cast my net only in the Vale I might end up with no prize or even worse another Littlefinger but if I was to look at the whole Realm maybe I could find a diamond in the rough.

A position of the Small Council was one of the most potent rewards the Royal House could offer to it’s subjects and there were many powerful lords which had fought against us and with the right honors might become vital allies.

My trade with the Martells came back to mind, I couldn’t treat anything better than practical autonomy from the Throne on the condition that they did not restart the war.

Doran was a shrewd man, he’d make an excellent Master of Coin, and it would get him in King’s Landing where Robert could use his charm on him and make him see that the new royal House were not the Lannisters, tough Cersei smirking from Robert’s side was not help in that regard.

But then maybe would be too shrewd to be trusted, I had spent months in Dorne and while there I had completely disregarded the reason I came, Oberyn Martell.

Such was Doran’s skill at diplomacy that I couldn’t even bring up that his brother had been openly advocating to the people that Dorne should back Viserys Targaryen.

And if the Prince of Dorne came to the capital, what of his heir ? Young Arriana Martell would she be left behind a ward of her uncle, so that he could pour all of his venom into her heart.

An ambitious uncle with a niece of the perfect age to wed the boy king he had endorsed ?

No, that would be folly the Martells are too proud to go back to the Targaryens after what Rhaegar did to Elia and after Aerys strong armed them by keeping her hostage.

Still I had a sinking feeling that there was some sort of dornish master plan at work and my actions might have moved it further.

“Jon !!! Jon !!” came Lyssa’s shrill voice to drag me down to earth.

“Ah yes.”

“You were ignoring me.”

“Hm I was thinking of matters of state, truth be told I didn’t even notice you enter.” and an additional truth I thought I had instructed my guards to keep her away.

“It’s ... I wouldn’t but I ... have no one to turn to ... no one will tell me anything of Petyr.”

Of course, worried about the state of her now not so secret lover.

“Yes well, the Grand Maester has judged him healthy enough to travel, I spoke with him at length and he had the wisdom to not create any additional scandal he has quietly resigned his position and retired to his lands where he swore not to bring up his ... adventures here in the capital.”

“Is he already gone ?” she asked disappointment clearly painted on her features.

“I gave him an ... honor ... guard of my own knights for the journey.”

“Will he be safe ?” she must probably think me a villain that will arrange an “bandit attack” or some such.

“I only did it because his own men deserted him after he lost his royal position, I would assume they were payed with promises and wizened up that no gold would be had.” 

“And ...” she was struggling her previous courage having faded once it was clear that Baelish was safe “what of us ?”

How could she ask me that ?

How could I answer ?

“I’ve been witting to your father for some time and we bought agree that ... ”

“Of course you went to him instead of talking to me, this whole marriage was more about the two of you from the very start !”

“I’VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM YOU ... ahem you’ve admitted to every one of Robert’s accusations I can’t very well offer you leniency when you proudly boast of your misdeeds.”

“Not Robert, that oaf is too thick to have caught us it was his bitch of a queen ... ”

“I will not have you talk about my son ... uh the closest thing I have to a son and your king that way!”

“He’s not my king.”

“Oh please do continue with your oh so wise judgments you know we still haven’t gotten around to getting a jester for the court,  
I have written to Hoster and when presented with the naked truth he finally relented that between myself and yourself can never be even a sham of a marriage.”

“Am I to be rid of you ?”

“We exchanged the vows in the sept, our union was consecrated by the divine.”

“You just needed my father’s swords for your usurpation, it was a marriage that was only to seal the alliance.”

“Regardless of my own past .... political choices, an alliance through marriage has strength because a marriage should be unbreakable.”

“Your pet king can set a marriage aside, why don’t you just ask him I’m sure he’d be delighted to.”

“That power of the king was uh always problematic in the places that the Faith is still adhered to like the Vale and the Westerlands, I couldn’t in good faith and with a clean conscience accept that the King’s earthly powers supersede divine vows.”

“Uhh why couldn’t you be dornish or a Reach man ? Petyr is from the Vale as well and he isn’t so obsessed with literally following the books of the Seven ?”

“I would think so.”

“Let me talk to the High Septon, I’ll make him understand.”

“Ha, the old High Septon the one who was just a boot-licker to the dragon kings wisely deserted his post after we won, he was rightly afraid of what would happen to a septon that bent the rules of our gods to serve tyrants in exchange for ... rewards.”

“But you selected his replacement !”

“The Septons did ! I merely put forward some opinions on behalf of the Crown, regardless the new High Septon is a man of infinitely greater character and a more conservative interpretation of the Faith teachings. ”

“So what did you agree upon with father ?”

“You will return to Riverun, in the eyes of the law and of the gods you will still be my wife but I will wash my hands of you and I will never have to suffer your presence, I really had hopped from our marriage to have gotten an heir of my own seed but know it’s been made clear that even if you would have gotten pregnant by all chances it would not have been truly mine.”

“...”

“Thus with our clear physical separation once I pass on the mantle of Lord Arryn and the Vale will pass on to someone of my extended family, my late sister still has issue they will do. I will not police you at Riverun do what you will ... but be warned should you conceive a child they will have no claim whatsoever to House Arryn none what so ever ... I will make my wishes crystal clear I will instruct my lords not to follow you, the King will know of this situation and rule against you.”

“So forlorn about not having an heir of your blood aren’t you ?”

“I will not stand your mocking, I did my duties in the bedchamber the gods obviously know of your lack of honor and that is why gratefully you have not conceived up until now.”

“Ha ! And what about your other two wives ? What fault will you find with them ?”

This vile girl not only does she betray her oath in front of the gods she mocks women she could never hold a candle to ?

“Easy there grandfather, wouldn’t want to put too much of a strain on your hearth wouldn’t you ? ... Admit it the problem was always with you, a weak seed which couldn’t bear fruit in three ripe fields.”

“This is just par of the course for how you ‘rebels’ have treated us Tully’s I don’t know how I didn’t see this sooner ... ”

“Explain ! I have been nothing but a honorable husband to you and a true ally to your father.”

“Oh please, you just wanted our swords and more than that where was the war fought ? On our lands mostly, whose peasants got killed and robbed and raped ? Ours !! And after the war ... you took me as a breeding cow and bed warmer while your mockery of a son Ned ... ”

“Do you have no shame at all woman ? Don’t bring Eddard into this !”

“Why shouldn’t I ? My sister has offered that man nothing but love, understanding and respect and how does he repay her ? He fathers a bastard and shoves the boy in her face places his gutter-spawn at the same level as my sister’s boy ! ”

“Don’t you try and besmirch his name, Eddard is a paragon of honor and has treated your sister like the lady she is ... war ravages men’s souls is it such a crime that he sought comfort one night in between the battles, one lesser deed shouldn’t wash away a life of otherwise flawless behavior ! ”

“But why did he bring him back with him ? The country side is filled with the bastards of the lords and soldiers from the war, and they’ve been left to their mothers to be raised as they should be. But Ned not only blatantly told my sister he fucked another woman but he insists she raise that child as if it’s her own !”

“You men think it’s so easy to raise children, as if she wasn’t hard pressed enough to be the lady to a burn of stone hearted Northern semi-barbarians and a new mother she must open her heart to a child who is a twist of the dagger in the open wound of her husband’s betrayal.”

“You know Cat writes me, I receive her tear stained letters from that cold hell periodically ... she can’t understand why Ned is doing this, what did she wrong him with so that he tortures her with that bastard every day ? Why can’t he accept the son she gave him, why does he constantly pour salt over both her wounds and diminish Robb’s status and future dominion over his subjects ?”

“Eddard is doing a noble thing in caring for his natural born son, though I admit he is being excessively generous in raising him exactly as if he was an equal to his trueborn heir ... I admit I didn’t consider what ... resentments this might bring up for young Catelyn. ”

“But I, I know the truth that behind that Northern two-faced traitor behavior ... he hates Robb he hates his own son for being part-Tully he’ll never allow him and his eventual heirs to inherit Winterfell Ned would rather the son he had with that home-wrecking slut take it all than it pass down to someone with Tully blood.”

“... You’re insane, I will write to your father to warn him of you maybe the maesters skilled in the healing of the mind know how to treat this ... disease of seeing enemies everywhere.”

“Warn him ?!? It’s I who will people of the truth, this court that claims to have removed the taint of the Targaryens is just as corrupt and vile ... Varys’s truth will spread from my lips to every noble in the Riverlands, the king is a weak fool and his queen is sleeping with her own brother !!!”

“OUT !!!”

As she left, I tried to fight down my anger, the poison of Varys’s accusations could not be stopped I knew this, there were too many people in the council room when he was dispatched, servants with loose lips had helped his dark words ride the winds until even Lysa as self obsessed as she was heard them. 

Robert made a grave mistake, too much pomp had been played out allowing Varys to defend himself in front of the Small Council and the Spider’s dismissal only helped his lies acquire a veneer of truth.

For when you cut out a man’s tongue you’re just telling the world how much you fear his words.

Varys’s accusation would haunt not only the royal couple, but their Houses their allies and eventually any offspring of Cersei’s to take the throne if it came down to it.

For a second I wished I could command the minds of men, as my ancestors were said to command the mind of haws and the Starks their wolves, it would have made ruling so much easier.

...

“I must say you’re the last man I expected to come knocking on my door.”

“Where you expecting a lot of guests Lord Baelish ? Also the eye is healing rather nicely I must say.”

“Heh thank you I suppose ... truth be told ... ”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Varys quipped

“I wasn’t expecting anyone to acknowledge my existence, being thrown out of the royal court and being barred from the Arryn court here at the Vale does tend to sink one’s social status.”

“You did take quite a risk with Lady Lisa, didn’t you ?”

“Not as much as you’d think, I was in fact mostly concerned about you Lord Spider and your ‘little birds’ ... ”

“You know of them ? I have to admit I am surprised I knew your potential was wasted by Robert but I must admit I only just considered you a young bright lord in a court of dullards, now to see that you know of my little birds ... ”

“No details, I must say ... just that they are your agents and nothing serious happens without them somehow learning of it and reporting to you.”

“Still it’s good to see that I didn’t make the trek here for nothing, now I would hate to drag you from your opulent home but ...”

“Ha ha, if you plan to jape about my lands being worthless I must assure you I’ve heard every possible insult about them either to my face or of the veiled kind.”

“Bit of resentment I sense ? Towards the richer lords ? The Arryns, the Tullys, the Starks ... the Baratheons ?”

“Every high lord, and Cersei Lannister especially is now on my list ... you know you were the one I was most afraid of I made only the smallest advances to Lysa always ready to deny everything if you came down on me, when it became clear you didn’t care I went about it in earnest and then that bitch came out of nowhere and sicked her thug of a husband on me.”

“Ah yes, that fits in very well with what I want to propose to you, in you Petyr I see some skill and wits which can still grow as you are very much a young man still, under my mentorship you could learn much ... you already have a place in Lysa’s Tully’s affections and with time through her to the next Lord Tully and every nobleman in the Riverlands.”

“What’s your end game Varys why are are you still in Westeros playing the game of cloaks and daggers ?”

“The Baratheons are merely a house of up-jumped warlords if left to rule Westeros war will come again, what this land needs is their true overlords ... the dragon kings of House Targaryen !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make a note of how dissolving a marriage, even if it's clearly a dysfunctional marriage like of Lysa and Jon is very very hard to pull off, if setting aside a marriage was easy then their value in politics wouldn't be that great.
> 
> I also made things intentionally complicated a King or High Septon could set aside a marriage as Lysa pointed out, but I didn't want to make things as easy they seem to be in the show so going from canon that the Vale is the land with the oldest Andal traditions and implicitly the longest Faith of the Seven religious traditions plus the Arryn words "As high as honor" I made Jon and the Vale more conservative on matters of faith including marriage.
> 
> The show High Septon who helped Rhaegar divorce is the one that is hinted at as being replaced.
> 
> I left out Petyr's response to Varys's offer and his pro-Targ objective but yes he agreed if you were wandering.


	11. Master the Sword: Cersei IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really Robert you'd know this already if you'd just read the books.

“Aha” I cried out triumphantly as Robert took another step back to avoid my swing.

“Uh” he grunted as a small smirk appeared on his lips, I could see his entire body tense as he took a stand and prepared himself to parry my next attack.

This was going to be the blow that ended our fight, so I took care to use the space I’d won and do a big swing trying to put all my weight and all the momentum I could into it.

Steel clashed with steel but Robert seemed to be a mountain, not budging in the slightest the moment I stopped applying force I found myself on the receiving end of a counter-push.

I couldn’t help it my sword flew from my hand and I tried to regain my balance as I stumbled back.

But it was all for naught I could feel a root or some other horrible dirty thing trip me, and down I went to the cold, damp forest floor, right on my ass. 

Uhh fucking Stormlanders just because their kingdom is a huge rainy forest doesn’t mean they have to inflict their love of being in the rain and the muck on all of us.

My husband, especially could keep his smirk and his love of nature to himself, why did I agree that this training session could be in the woods ?

Robert stood towering above me and all I could think was if my legs were long enough to deliver a kick to his balls from where I was sitting in the leaves and the grass.

“You ... have been defeated ” he said in a theatrical tone pointing at me as if we were mummers in a play and he was explaining to the audience “ ... you bet too much on your attack and didn’t plan ahead about what would happen if you foe blocked it so now, now my pretty ...” uh I knew that look in his eyes “I have you at my mercy.” and he jumped over me, on the floor of the forest like we were two wild animals.

“Robert .. ha ha Robert ... stop hihi ...”

“No, I’m the evil black knight and you’re the maiden I’ve captured.”

“Haha ... your stubble it’s ticking me but it’s also pricking my face.”

“Really ? Uh I’d actually been thinking to grow a full beard, wouldn’t I look more kingly that way ?”

To be honest I preferred my men clean shaven, but the moment I would forbid him a beard the moment he would become dead set on growing one.

“Can I be honest ?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Liar.

“Beards are for fat old lords that want to hid their double chins.”

I could see his eyes widen as he considered my response.

“Uh, maybe you’re right, clean shaven is how I won the throne changing now might give people the idea that I’ve gone soft ... Oh look you’ve hammered me during the duel until we came near our supplies, could you please pass the wine-skin it’s to your left. ”

Uhh so early in the afternoon ? He almost makes me want to hit the cups myself.

Still same principle applies, don’t deny the king re-direct him to a wiser path.

Raising myself I planted a kiss right on his lips.

“Ah ” he began when we parted as we both needed to breathe “I can’t believe I waited so long to get married, but please do pass the wine.”

“Are you saying that my lips aren’t sweeter than any wine ?” I said in a flirty tone but also while shooting him a ‘be careful’ look.

“Aha ha ha if only it was that easy, I drink to forget not for pleasure at this hour.”

“What has gotten you so upset ?”

“I’ve gotten ... an unpleasant letter from one of my Lords Paramount.”

“About ?” he shoots me a look, defeated beyond measure, this is a battle he knows he can’t win.

“Is it about me ?” I let go of pretenses and voice my fear.

“Uh a complaint about you being on the Small Council, as Mistress of Whispers and in any capacity whatsoever.”

Who ?

Martell was bribed into standing down.

Tyrell was happy to bide his time for now until Robert forgot they fought against him.

Tully should know his status with the royal house was at a all time low after Lysa was caught.

Greyjoy is just an upjumped pirate lord, not even a player.

“ ... it was Father wasn’t it ?” I asked despite the fact that I can hear the defeat in my own voice.

“Uhm he’s grumbled about it, but listen my sweet son-in-laws are for hatting so I don’t take it to heart ... the raven was from Ned, he had some very strong opinions about you even if the words were measured and polite as he always is.”

That man, Eddard Stark has been against me and my family from the very start, after Father offered Robert the capital he was shouting for war against us and with what excuse ?

For a woman that not even her husband bothered with and her two little hooks with which the Martells would have clung to the throne.

It’s an open secret in the new court that he raged when negotiations were taking place for me and Robert to be joined.

As Robert’s oldest friend and comrade of arms Eddard Stark could have continued to be quite the king maker if he hadn’t secluded himself in the North.

What slight could I have done to this man ?

Nothing, it must surely be that his outward hatred is just a cheap veil to hide that he lusts for me.

“Now obviously the raven is already in flight with my response, uh I hate this distance between us if we were together I could joke around with Ned and make him see how much of an ass he’s being with offering `advice` in my affairs ... but the only thing I could do was reply that I value his wisdom yet I will stand the course, if I’d put in some japes they wouldn’t carry over well on paper and I’d have insulted my Warden of the North.”

“Thank you ” I said trying hard to convey sincerity in my tone “I know he is your truest companion and you are sorely tempted to his side.”

“Think nothing of it, Ned’s a great man certainly wiser than me and I would think anyone at our court except Jon, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be wrong. You’ve been doing great work taking over from Varys to be honest I can feel it in my bones now that I don’t have to worry about assassins being let into my room at night.”

“Well in some ways, it has been much easier than I’d expected after you announced my new position, they flocked to me at the palace all kinds of thieves, brothel owners, criminals and pirates all of them with stories of various veiled threats against the Crown all promising to be my agents ... in exchange for Baratheon silver or Lannister gold of course. ”

“Uh scum of the earth ... ” Robert looked like he was seriously relieving me of the title of Mistress of Whispers right now in some effort to protect my purity or some other knightley motive.

“Your lessons have served me well, even with Selmy in the room when they come it’s wonderful to know I have a short sword under my desk within reach.”

“Have you had any luck with Varys’s top men, these rogues surely can’t have been the extent of his network.”

“No ... whatever men he used to keep tabs on the Red Keep or the other major houses have left with him ... such a shame the reports they made the ones I could get to before they were burned are ... terrifying in their details if I were more superstitious I would think he was some sort of sorcerer and his spies were evil spirits.”

“The queer things those dragon kings did and the insanity some of the people from his lands of Essos still do, you might be closer to the truth than you’d like.”

“Still I’m building my own units of spies, loyal to ”

Me, House Lannister, even you as you have the common sense to not cross me more than you’ve already done.

“ us and the Realm.”

A huge grin of satisfaction arose on Robert’s face.

“I knew you could do this cape and dagger game, Ned was just bitching because he hates your father and ... uhm because he has troubles in his own marriage ... ”

Of course he has, if he can’t keep his thoughts off of me.

“Really ?”

“Yep ... it’s his wife she’s doing the worst thing that a woman can do to her man short of a betrayal like Lysa.”

“I pray lord Tully has more luck with his son, because his daughters seem to be ruining the Tully name as good house to marry into. What exactly is lady Catelyn doing ?”

“She’s guarding her cu ... uhm her bedchamber as if it were the treasury of Riverun, poor Ned hasn’t been with her since he’s gotten back at the end of the war.”

“But they have a son, they named his in your honor.”

“Aye, back when I wasn’t a king ... just Ned’s friend, the babe Robb was conceived during the bedding because and I don’t see why Ned would lie about this. He hasn’t been welcome into her bed since.”

“That’s ... troubling. Has lord Eddard tried to ...”

“Press his rights as a husband ... no, Jon taught us a wife is to be protected and respected I’ve tried to keep those words close to heart which means Ned lives by them.”

It probably means that lord Arryn never tried to teach you not to sleep with half the low born girls in the Vale while betrothed I wanted to throw in his face, but this was not the time and those were offenses against Lyanna Stark not me.

“It’s the issue of his bastard, that’s what all the bad blood stems from for them.” Robert continued.

“If his lavishing of honor on his bastard has reached even our Southern courts, I can’t imagine how it must be for Lady Catelyn to live with that slight against her day in and day out.”

“Ned’s just trying to do right by his son,” Robert began apologetically “he doesn’t want to wound Catelyn I was there when he came back from Dorne, he had just lost ... his sister but even beyond that I could see the guilt of fathering a bastard was eating him alive and he hated himself for what his actions were doing to his new wife.”

“Still Robert, actions speak louder than words no matter how much he might profess he did not intend to hurt Catelyn, to come home to your wife after she’s given you a healthy son to come with your bastard, to treat them as one of the same to announce to the world that you will raise them the same side by side. You see things like a man but this was like unto spitting in her face and to spit on the heir she provided, on Catelyn’s most important contribution to the world.”

“Uhm Ned was sort of involved as well in making Robb.”

“He wasn’t the one carrying him in his own body during the war ... no .. Ned was busy making another child, by favoring the babe Snow as he did his legitimate son he is declaring Catelyn’s worth as null and void. Look we Lannisters ... we are a large pride I’ve had uncles, cousins that had natural born children I know how these situations should be resolved why didn’t he just give the mother sufficient gold and return to his true family ?“

“She died ... I think ?”

“Or why not give him to an nurse, instruct her to be discrete then ward him off to some lesser house ?”

“I uh I don’t know.”

“Or even if the boy, Jon ?”

“Yes, after lord Arryn.”

“Even if Jon has to stay at Winterfell make it clear he is a Snow, don’t treat his like some sort of almost-Stark.”

“Gods woman, why are you telling me this I’m half a kingdom removed from all of this mess.”

I had to admit this really was a mystery, what could cause Stark to go so out of his way on this ?

“You’re right, my best guess is that lord Eddard must have loved the mother very deeply to honor her son like this.”

“I uhmm i don’t know Ned won’t even mention her ... you know I never would have asked the Spider this as poor Ned doesn’t need his household to be crawling with that eunuch’s taint but you’re my wife why this means that you and Ned are practically family ...”

“Sorry, Robert what are you saying ?”

“I want you to look into this, Ned wont talk about her with me, his oldest friend ? He's insulting his wife and and acting sanctimonious with me because he's sleeping alone in a cold bed ? ”

“I guess when you two were wards in the Vale ? ”

“Same thing ... I love the man but sometimes his whole honor before reason is so infuriating. So I need to know who this special mystery woman who made him break his vow is, so please find out for me who Jon Snow's mother is ! ”


End file.
